Reflections

Well it is almost the end of 2008. Tomorrow is Christmas and I am finding it hard to really get into the holiday spirit. It is difficult for me to really feel the spirit of Christmas this year. So I thought if I listed out all the major events in my life the year it would give me some perspective on the whole thing and maybe I could get into the spirit of Christmas.

In January, my Uncle was murdered. This in the end caused huge issues in my family. People fighting and lashing out at one another, it was and continues to be just awful.

Also my girlfriends and I planned a great scrapbooking retreat weekend. Which should have been a nice way for me to relax and unwind... not so, it turned into being a really stressful weekend and I ended up going home a day earlier. The end result is that two of my really close friends had a very strained relationship for a really long time. Again... awful.

In February, my dad seemed to be struggling with some health issues but he kept telling all of us he was fine. It turned out the he had congestive heart failure and he was pretty much drowning on the inside. Luckliy the doctor figured it out in time and he was able to get rid of the fluid.

In March, I turned 37...

April and May were pretty calm.

In June, my oldest turned 7, we went on a trip to South Dakota and missed one of the worst storms that Omaha has ever seen and when we returned home we had a lot of downed branches and minor damage to one of the gutters on the front of the house.

In July, my youngest turned 4, we had mini tornado touch down in our backyard and rip one of the neighbors trees out of the ground and into our yard destroying the back fence, it was a mess for WEEKS back there.

In August, my baby brother got married so a trip to Colorado was on the agenda. It was nice to see my mom and step-dad along with my baby brother and his new wife. Although the stress of finding a dress and getting it altered was excrutiatingly painful. I'm a plus size gal and I don't really care to have my upper body exposed but every dress I looked at seemed to be strapless, spaghetti straps or very revealing. YUCK... who wants to see that!

In September & October things seemed to be going well.

In November, my dad had a sudden heart attack at work and died. For those of you that have had a parent pass you know my pain. For those of you who haven't I cannot even begin to describe the pain you go through. For me I haven't been able to really grieve because one of my siblings finds in necessary to yell and scream at me every chance he gets. It isn't pleasant and it isn't an easy thing to deal with. In addition to that he has been the most vocal about what he deserves period. Which I cannot for the life of me even begin to understand.

So most of December has been spent dealing with my dad's affairs and trying to get it all done and over with, I really just want it to be done. I'm ready for 2008 to be over with and I hope and pray that 2009 will be better. It doesn't even have to be spectacular.... just calm and quiet would be nice.

Thanks for reading, I'm usually not an overly negative person and I know things could always be worse. I am thankful for what I have, I'm finding it hard though to appreciate anything at this point.

Hugs,
Michele